thechurchofbobsaget:

I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.

cumaddict72:

chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

you need to be arrested

aliens-ate-my-mum:

Showing my favourite movie to my friends
image

eclecticpandas:

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

but he’s like, I’m lactose intolerant